Just Here for the Pain (Underdogs #2) ~ K.A. Merikan
This book is the perfect book for me, I mean, heavy BDSM that is really descriptive and super hot and a stalker as a main character? Yes please give it to me now!
I have already read this book about 6-7 months ago and I loved it, it left a super strong impact on me and I kept thinking about it over the months. When I saw that the audiobook for this one was out, I just had to listen to it. Turns out that the audiobook was the best way to re-read this book because this book got even better for me the second time around. The audiobook fit the book perfectly and it was just everything I wanted it to be.
Brief summary Asher has been stalking Sid and his band for years. They had a one night stand a couple of years ago and Asher has been been obsessed with Sid ever since. Sid ends up telling Asher that he is a sub and he wants to be used and degraded and that's why he cannot be with Asher as Asher is vanilla. So Asher learns everything there it to know about being a dom and BDSM to prove to Sid that he is worthy of him and they fall in love during the process.
First, almost everything about this book just works for me, it’s the perfect combination of everything I love in these kind of books, it has the stalking from Asher, the fact that Asher keeps pushing and pushing to date Sid until Sid finally says yes, it’s shockingly super emotional and made me cry multiple times, both times I read it, and the sex scenes are some of the hottest sex scenes I have ever read, and I love how the BDSM is pretty heavy and explores a lot of themes we barely get in books, and if we do get them, they’re not explored as in depth as this book does. This book is just the perfect example of a book for me and I just love it. Second, I absolutely adore Asher. Sure, he is a stalker who is obsessed with Sid and knew he wanted him and did everything to get him. And I loved reading his point of view. He was so delusional and saw him stalking Sid as just trying to prove his love to him. It was lovely to read about his thoughts and how delusional they were. But he is also so fucking sweet. His character has so many layers. I loved how sweet he was to Sid and he was devoted to doing everything to make sure that Sid is happy and has everything he wants in life. Asher literally researched BDSM and everything about it to give Sid everything he craves, and I just loved that so much. Asher is my favourite kind of dom in books. Asher is a dom but he’s flawed and had his problems but he always cares about his man and shows it. Sid wasn’t always the nicest to Asher and I loved how Asher wasn’t a push over and stood up to Sid when he treated Asher badly. But even if Asher was mad at Sid, he always took the time to care for Sid when Sid needed him and it was so sweet. Third, the kink in this book is absolutely brilliant. It’s some of the best kink I have ever read and I don’t say that lightly as I have read a shit load of kinky books. This has pain play, humiliation, bondage, a boat load of dirty talk, and also a lot of aftercare, which was what sealed this book for me. The sex scenes in this book were some of the hottest sex scenes I have ever read, but also I just loved how much of a focus there was on aftercare and consent in a BDSM setting in this one, the mix of the two was just perfect to me.
“I want to hurt, Ash. I want pain, handcuffs, gags, and electric shocks. I want to feel birch hitting my skin, and for my nipples to be pierced over and over again. I want to be called names and fucked so hard I can’t stop myself from crying.?”
Fourth, I just love the relationship in this book. These two just really compliment each other and they felt perfectly suited for each other. I loved how they were always there for each other and how they tried to make each other feel better. Sid thought that he was so broken and he didn’t know how to deal with the affection that Asher had to offer so he kept pushing Asher away. But Asher didn’t let himself be pushed away and kept showing Sid how wants he cares for him and that really worked for me. Fifth, my one little complaint is that I’m not the biggest fan of some of Sid’s actions, I understood why he did them and they made sense in his character arc, but I just didn’t like them much and they made me resent his character for a couple of chapters. Thankfully, Sid experienced a lot of character development and he fully redeemed himself by the end of the book, which I really appreciated. I truly liked how he groveled and worked on being better than he was at the start of the book, that really worked for me. Sid went from closed off and unwilling to trust to realizing how good Asher is for him and to trusting Asher. It was so sweet to see and so rewarding. I loved this book the first time I read it and somehow it got even better on the re-read. This book is just of mix everything I have ever wanted in a book and I hold it very dear in my heart, it’s one I just keep thinking about over and over.
The Underdogs series:
Book 3 ~ You. Forever. Always. is available in ebook